The greatest story never told is disclosed only on a ‘need to know’ basis. And if you are privileged enough to see the live show, you need to know its ‘roots’. The ‘back story’ – as it’s referred to in show biz and chiropractic circles.

Our ‘hero’ Brian was rumoured to have been born outback of the outback of Australia near an abandoned mining lease called ‘Bullyafullofit’.

The closest town with a horse was a place called Wedlock.

Brian was born just outside there and without an actual male parent to accept responsibility, the clerk in the town registering his birth made yet another ‘typo’ and wrote the first syllable of the mining lease as Brian’s surname; ‘Bull’.

Legally he was Brian Bull, but as he matured he became known best through the simple four letter word, ‘Bull’.

When Brian was born his mother Una Patterson was a student agricultural experimental scientist. His father was called upon suddenly to lead a group of scientists up the Amazon River about the same time Una told him they were expecting their first child. He has not been seen since.

Right from birth, Una loved Brian like he was her own son, even though he was.

Although single, Una unselfishly wanted Brian to have brothers and sisters. She being a strong believer in ‘diversity’, practiced what she preached and rather than locking all her progeny into the same gene pool, she made sure each had their own separate father.

From early childhood Brian had a kindly surrogate father figure in Wallaby-Sherlock-whatcha-reckon, celebrated black tracker. He could track anybody, except Brian’s real father. The wisdom and knowledge learned of all things about the land strongly influenced the young Brian.

Wallaby-Sherlock-whatcha-reckon knew about Brian’s indignant Australian heritage including his famous ancestor Benny Long, who met Captain Phillip where the opera house now stands.

Una was the person who first introduced Brian to music. It was her who revealed to him at the tender age of 12 that his great grandfather ‘Banjo’ wrote ‘Waltzing Matilda’ about a Kiwi mate called Andrew.

Brian made the discovery of his talent as a music ‘influencer’ one lunch time. He walked past the local dental surgery and told three young brothers to spend their money on musical instruments instead.

Since that first inspiration he has written songs for scores of major stars including the Bee Gees, Bob Dylan, Rod Stewart, Tom Jones, Michael Jackson, Michael Buble, Michael Palin, Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Elvis’s (Presley & Costello), Willie Nelson, Joe Cocker, Cher, Elton John, Ozzie Osborne, David Bowie, Pavarotti, Pink, Moody Blues, Black Eyed Peas, U2, Meatloaf, Stevie Wonder, Bruno Mars and a duet for Harpo Marx and Marcel Marceau. 

[See fine print reference *]

Brian is a remarkable singer, songwriter and philanthropist and is truly, the ‘influencer’.

You may know the history of Monty Python’s Brian, the naughty boy who was not the Messiah. Well this is not about him, so get that out of your head.

[*Fine print. Due to factors beyond Brian’s control, these stars are yet to record these hits.] 

Siblings:

Half-brother: Jason. Original concepts director for the new TV summer hit reality show, ‘Bitchelorette Search for a Pop Idol Survivor’s Big Brother’. To win, a contestant must seduce any or all of the show’s judges, have a clothing makeover and manicure, be locked in a rock star’s mansion with 40 hopeful young women to co-host a cooking segment, fly with them in a Lear Jet around the world 6 at a time, solve 20 forensic mysteries across 3 continents, meet Donald Trump and fire him. Jason believes this is the closest thing to reality any TV show could hope to achieve.

Half-sister: Angela Nicole is CEO of ‘Such-n-Such Unique Innovative and Eclectic International Marketing and Event Agency’ based in New York.

Apart from being a successful businessperson and role model, Angela Nicole’s generosity is renowned in the industry. She is a tireless charity worker, volunteering countless hours organising paparazzi to capture needy celebrities with ‘media attention deficit disorder’ as they exit rehab centres across America.